How to Treat Kids in the midst of Divorce and Custody- from www.angriesout.com Very Useful Information its great to have ground rules.

The Book of Rights of a Child in a Divorce

To be told that my mother and father still love me and will never divorce me.
To be told that the divorce is not my fault and not to be told about the adult problems that caused it.
To be treated as a human being---not as another piece of property to be fought over, bargained over or threatened.
To have decisions about me based on my best interest, rather than past wrongs, hurt feelings, or parent's needs.
To love both my parents without being forced to choose or feel guilty.
To know both my parents through regular, frequent involvement in my life.
To have the financial support of both my father and mother.
To be spared hearing bad hurtful comments about either of my parents which have no useful purpose.
Not to be asked to tell a lie or act as a spy or messenger.
To be allowed to care about others without having to choose or feel guilty.

This old tree has been the playground of alot of children! Third generation in our family are now climbing it!

Sharing a pic from the big day.

So....what's new with us?

Let me see here....

-Dalton made a huge and complicated social studies project all by himself, didn't even tell us he was working on it...I thought it really looked good!

-Ellie got all A's on her mid-term report.

-Joey enjoys his bi-monthly trips to the cities to see his dad. He also is getting better and better at his drawing skills.

-Henry's speech has progressed noticably, much improvement, he is currently working on correct pronounciation of the "r" sound.

-Dalton is going on the youth deer hunt with Grandma this weekend. Good luck!!

-Baby is growing! Kicking and wiggling alot.

-Papa has been on different meds for chronic migraine headaches and they are so much better than on the previous medications. He is able to do more.

-Mama just applied for a job closer to home but no call for interview yet. Keeping hopes up.....

-We are enjoying the blessings of fall season. Cooler weather, final harvests from field and garden, last nice days before cold winter days set in.

-Mama canned a pantry full of tomatoes and apples and a few other things.

And that's the scoop on us.

My Awsome Kids

You know what? When i was a new mom, I remember being full of all these warm, fuzzy feelings, couldn't IMAGINE ever being angry or frustrated with my child.....LOL! Now I have....(how many children??? seriously???) and can't imagine a full 24 hour day that doesn't involve a frustratingly real and crazy correction of normal childhood behaviors!! Such as enforcing the rule about doing chores, not just whining about doing chores, or maybe the 'just because your brother hit you doesn't make it ok to kick him' rule, oh and of course the 'no you can't have dessert until you eat whats left on your plate' rule......

And another thing! What young couple starting out, no kids yet, could imagine what having kids is really like?? So, would somebody please tell them that NORMAL family life sounds like a war zone some nights? Or at least like a wild riot, ok? And on quieter nights you probably will still find yourself telling your kids strange things you have once heard your own mother say. Probaby those things you hated hearing, LOL!

All in all its wonderful to have kids, such a gift is worth the headaches and heartaches, but man, a nice hot bath without kids yelling at me through the door..... .............isn't gonna happen for awhile. ;)

(If it did, what would I complain about??? love ya.....)

I hate homework.

So....my son is sitting here, stubbornly refusing to look up spelling words in the dictionary. He is mad at me, because he thinks I ought to tell him which ones are right and which are wrong. I told him its not my homework (after checking the ones that were wrong initially) and if he isn't willing to try (he is only guessing and rearranging) I won't be telling him the answers. I provided him with a good dictionnary which he refuses to use.
I told him two things: "The fact you don't want to do it doesn't matter" and "stupid is a choice". Well, does this make me good mom or bad mom? Some nights I wonder.
We are both very frustrated!!!!!!!!

We love each other! We love each other! heheheheheheeee and we love loving each other. Life feels.....good.

I wish it were summer again.

I am writing poetry again

4-25-11

I lost my faith and my believing
And to my surprise
The sun rose in the morning.

I screamed out into the cold empty hole
And learned
The echo only answers what it heard

I found my faith just as I had lost it
Angrily, dejectedly, miserably
But no trumpets sounded for me.

So I pouted. And a small quiet voice said
"Certainly I already know you are small
and wounded and sad but yet there is hope."

How mysterious is life, how deep and private
Is our faith, our faiths, our hopes
And our pains and our loves.

How all emcompassing is this, and
Deeper yet, mysterious yet-
The One who Holds me, the Keeper, the last thread.

So the vine withered. I don't care.
Constant cycle within my soul
Faith grows up and dies again

It rains, it thunders
Night falls like a cloak,
At least it hides me and my contempt.

Morning comes again, I don't care.
But yet, deeper yet, mysterious yet-
Faith awakens again, the sun still rises.

Say a small prayer.
Hide me, hold me
I hear trumpets sounding far off.....

What's New

What is New with the Snyder Liew crew??

-Dalton made a clock out of wire and potatoes.
-He also got an A on his report about Virginia. Next assignment: speech about Johnny Cash.

-Ellie is excited about her field trip May 6th to Decorah IA to the museum and planetarium.
-All this year Ellie earned straight A's.

-Joseph decided to cancel his Spiderman subscription and instead got Ironman. To boot, his Batman comic ordered two months ago arrived finally.
-Joseph reads two grade levels ahead of his age.

-Henry recently was angry with me for being told no to a movie; so he threw a small book at me. When told he was then grounded from movies, his reply: "I am too young to be grounded mom!" (he was still grounded)
-Despite this little fit (above) he is of course a sweet wonderful young man, who has learned to be respectful and quiet in the mornings when mommy has to sleep after night shifts.

And momma and papa:

-Momma is getting pretty tired of night shifts.

-Papa is excited that spring is here and helped his dad plant oats. Wait-it WAS here. Today we have a snowstorm.

Read This--

Some interesting stats you don't want to know: www.meatforchristians.com

-hot button issues. I was most touched by the stats on slave trade in our world today.

from codename:mama website

Hi Guys! I found this on the web- I wouldn't do all of these things, but the point is, there are alot of options even though you feel yr at the end of the rope! The list:
-ruth

101 Things To Do Instead of Yelling or Spanking
August 31st, 2010 – 100 Comments – Shortened URL: http://bit.ly/bNNxq8



Here are 101 things you can do instead of yelling or spanking:

1.Take a parental time-out.
2.Call for help from a friend or family member (ask them to give you an immediate break if possible).
3.Pile everyone in the car and drive to the park (or anywhere – just go for a change of scenery).
4.Sing a silly song about how angry you are.
5.Do jumping jacks.
6.Draw your feelings out.
7.Make yourself your favorite snack.
8.Write down 3 instances when you felt intense love for your child.
9.Clean out your clothes closet and set aside a bag for Goodwill (now would probably not be a good time to do this with the kids’ toys).
10.Change the subject – come back to it when you and your child are calmer.
11.Whisper.
12.Practice progressive relaxation.
13.Act like animals: stomp like an elephant, growl like a lion, etc.
14.Run around the house (or around the block if your children have alternate childcare).
15.Do a load of laundry.
16.Set out clothes for the kids for the next week (or do some other task that will pay off later).
17.Release tension: shake your shoulders, roll your neck, etc.
18.Count to 100. Out loud. In a robot voice.
19.Immerse yourself in an easy craft project.
20.Dust off the hedge clippers and trim your trees or other landscaping.
21.If your child allows it, give him a huge hug and tell him you love him.
22.Scream into a pillow.
23.Bake cookies (with help from your child), bring some to a neighbor or your local fire department.
24.Dance to your favorite song.
25.Instead of yelling at your kids to do something, act out your request in a game of charades or pictionary.
26.Pluck your eyebrows.
27.Clean out the refrigerator.
28.Bang your head – to some loud music.
29.Write down the angry words you could have said, then rip the paper up and throw it away.
30.Do some yoga.
31.Rearrange the furniture.
32.Make a list of the many reasons you love your child.
33.Wash the car by hand.
34.Laugh in as many different ways as you can think of (think Mary Poppins).
35.Take everyone and go sit in a car wash. Choose the option for colored soap.
36.Chocolate.
37.Call a friend who supports gentle discipline (think about finding a “gentle discipline partner” who you can talk to anytime you feel the urge to yell or spank).
38.Fall down theatrically on the floor. Lie there long enough to collect yourself.
39.Pay bills.
40.Keep a roll of tape handy – use it on your mouth.
41.Squeeze a stress ball.
42.Recite multiplication tables.
43.Stand as silent and still as possible.
44.Paint your nails.
45.Do 25 sit-ups.
46.Finish a task you’ve been putting off.
47.Listen to an audio book.
48.Take a bubble bath.
49.Ask a silly question. Ask another.
50.Take a walk around your neighborhood or a park and clean up the trash.
51.Run up and down the stairs.
52.Paint on different mediums (paper, rocks, your windows, etc.).
53.Write a story using only 100 words.
54.Cook a meal for the freezer.
55.Look at pictures of your child when she was a baby.
56.Play Solitaire (or whatever game strikes your fancy).
57.Brew some of your favorite tea or coffee. Have a tea party.
58.Sweep, vacuum, or mop.
59.Learn something new online.
60.Play with Playdough or clay.
61.Put a movie on for the kids; have sex with your partner.
62.Take a shower.
63.Organize meal plans for the next week. Or month. Or year.
64.Set up an obstacle course for you and your kids to do (inside or out).
65.Instead of shouting something angrily, shout “I love you!!”
66.Make up a rhyme about how much you love your child. Recite it while standing on your head.
67.Play ball (basketball, throw a tennis ball against a wall, play catch with someone, etc.).
68.Take artsy pictures.
69.Make a PostSecret postcard.
70.Pull weeds.
71.Decoupage something.
72.Blow bubbles.
73.Make a list of “things I would rather do than engage in power struggles with my child.”
74.Trade roles with your child: pretend you are the little, and she is the adult.
75.Reorganize a closet or cabinet.
76.Roll around on an exercise ball.
77.Make bread or pizza dough (the kind you have to knead).
78.Form a drum circle: everyone grab a drum or a pot, and start playing.
79.Build a tower out of books (or anything handy). Knock it down.
80.Gather the kids for a nature walk around the block.
81.Have a few funny videos saved on YouTube to watch when you need a break.
82.Take silly pictures of yourself. Invite your child to help.
83.Ask your Facebook or Twitter friends to tell you a joke.
84.Scrub the shower.
85.Write a poem (it doesn’t have to be a good one).
86.Send postcards to random people.
87.Make a silly (and unrelated) announcement. (“For the rest of the day, everyone must hop on one foot when moving about the house!”)
88.Make funny faces. Tell your child that no matter what, they must not laugh.
89.Turn on a videocamera. Turn the opportunity into one of love and connection that you can be proud of later.
90.Play an instrument.
91.Take the family to a park with sidewalk chalk: write/draw inspirational messages/pictures.
92.Learn how to say a few words in another language (ASL, Spanish, etc.).
93.Floss.
94.Jump rope.
95.Do something nice for someone else. (Involve your child if he wants to help.)
96.Write your feelings down on paper.
97.Meditate or pray.
98.Hug your child’s teddy bear or doll and talk about how much you love your child (while your child is watching, if you’d like).
99.Look into a mirror and realize what your child is seeing when you are angry.
100.Remember your child is young, and innocent, and loves you, and needs to trust you.

Thoughts about life that trouble me

1. No matter how I say the following items somebody will be mad about it.

2. Over the course of my life, I have lost 99% of respect for pastors. This is in no small part due to personal experiences involving several of them acting childish and narrow (together, of course). And I don't have a satisfactory answer as to what good they truly perform in our society that cannot be otherwise done while holding down a real job.

3. Why must people yell and scream and bully their children, then get so surprised and offended when their children repeat this behaviour? Guess what! They are watching YOU and I for cues. Such a difficult concept for adults!!!!!!!!!

4. If we cannot change the pain, and we cannot alleviate the pain, we can only integrate the pain into our existence. Which sounds......painful.......may God allow an existence full of grace.

5. YOUR THOUGHTS HERE