Websurfing www.cleanjoke.com (all jokes adapted from website)

A nurse, dentist and army general are flying in an airplane and decide to drop something out.
the nurse drops a medical kit.
the dentist throws a toothbruth out.
the army general drops a bomb.

when they land they go to see what happened.

they find a young man bandaging up his arm, and old man brushing his dentures
and a very young boy laughing his head off.

confused, they ask him what is so funny.

"My uncle farted and just blew up his house!" the small boy explains between laughs.........

A Little Riddle

Arnold Schwartzenegger has a big one.
Madonna never had one.
The Pope doesn't need one.
Bill Clinton uses his often.
We never saw Luci use Desi's.
WHAT is it?

"A Surname" hahahahaha and I had you thinking something else didn't I????


"The trouble with being puctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." Franklin P. Jones

Why have I never seen the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery" ?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? (My son says it is because they are not socks.)

Why don't they make the whole plane out of the stuff they make that indestructible black box outta?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos, huh?

If CON is the opposite of PRO, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

The Fertile Momma Cow

A Cow had triplets. While grazing in the pasture one day the first calf comes up to momma and asks "why did you name me daisy?"
Well honey, replies the cow, when you were born a daisy fell from heaven and landed on your head. The calf loved this and ran off happy.
The next day calf number two says "momma, why did you name me Tulip?
Well honey, replies the cow, when you were born a tulip fell from heaven and landed on your head. The calf ran off very happy with this.
The next day, calf number three dawdles up to momma and asks his question.
"Momma, why did you name me COWPOO!"
Well honey when YOU were born ......
......it was just the most amazing thing......

Here is Ben's little dog Sweety. Ain't she cute? She has alot of personality too.

The Storm

Icy cold wind blows into the room
Making me remember what I wanted to forget
It settles into a chair near me and wants to shake my hand
Makes me tremble as though I am weak again

Grin of the devil wants me to believe in kind intentions
I was born yesterday. and that is long ago enough to know
How terribly cold this awful wind can be
The wind drones on I tighten my scarf and button my coat

I tighten my scarf button my coat
Stand at full height and stare him in the face
The wind musters another gusty blow allthewhile grinning
I put on my cap and mittens now

Stand at full height face to the wind
I am strong enough to pass through this storm
Hold tightly to my hands children we are walking on
We are walking on and on and on as wind blows all around us

I think my darling children felt the chill, ice petals forming
I am a good seamstress and so
We have fleece coats for the whole family
To keep us warm against the blasts (we never know when)

And when it is all over, I think to myself
How good it is to be here
To be from Minnesota where the people
Are strong (lend me your strength oh my good friends)
Are brave (no we won't back down, we won't back down now)
We know how to stand against the wind