This is my offering in celebration of Valentine's Day. After all, Saint Valentine was a proclaimer of love, was he not? Well, abuse is not love. Here is my act of public awareness and social responsibility. I adapted this from the website link at the bottom.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
Domestic Abuse Checklist
Does the person you love...
Threaten to hurt you or your children? Yes ___ No ___
Say it's your fault if he or she hits you, then promises it won't happen again (but it does)?
Yes ___ No ___
Put you down in public or keep you from contacting family or friends?
Yes ___ No ___
Throw you down, push, hit, choke, kick, or slap you?
Yes ___ No ___
Force you to have sex when you don't want to?
Yes ___ No ___
Just one "yes" answer means you may be involved in an abusive relationship. If so, you're not alone and you have choices. It is so much more complicated than a simple checklist...
No one deserves to be abused. Get help wherever you can.
MYTH: It is easy for an abused woman to leave her abuser. Why can't she just start over?
FACT: Women who leave their abuser are at 75% greater risk of being killed or harmed by the abuser than those who stay. Nationally, 50% of homeless women and children are on the street because of violence in their home.
MYTH: Domestic issues do not hurt children. If he is bad to me, at least he isn't hitting the kids.
FACT: Child abuse occurs in up to 70% of the homes where domestic violence occurs. When a parent is victimized by domestic violence, children are abused at a rate 15 times the US national average.
MYTH: After a woman leaves an abusive partner, the abuse stops.
FACT: Separated women are three times more likely than divorced women, and 25 times more likely than married women living with their husbands, to be victimized by an abuser. These men frequently take advantage of court-ordered visitation to inflict harm on their former partners and their children.
MYTH: Batterers who seek custody do so out of love for their children and a desire to be good parents.
FACT: Custody litigation frequently becomes a vehicle whereby batterers attempt to extend or maintain their control and authority over the abused parent after separation.
MYTH: Allegations of child abuse increase significantly in divorce and custody disputes; women frequently fabricate allegations of abuse to hurt their former partner or to gain an advantage in custody disputes. She made it all up to make him look even worse.
FACT: Allegations of child sexual abuse are rare, occurring in only 2-3% of all divorce cases and fewer than 10% of custody cases. Less than 1/2 of all allegations of abuse against fathers are made by the child's mother, most are made by third parties. Allegations of child sexual abuse are not more likely to be false when made during custody/divorce proceedings than when made at other times.
Source:"Domestic Violence: The Facts" - A Handbook to STOP violence
Or see: www.healthyplace.com for more information.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
Domestic Abuse Checklist
Does the person you love...
Threaten to hurt you or your children? Yes ___ No ___
Say it's your fault if he or she hits you, then promises it won't happen again (but it does)?
Yes ___ No ___
Put you down in public or keep you from contacting family or friends?
Yes ___ No ___
Throw you down, push, hit, choke, kick, or slap you?
Yes ___ No ___
Force you to have sex when you don't want to?
Yes ___ No ___
Just one "yes" answer means you may be involved in an abusive relationship. If so, you're not alone and you have choices. It is so much more complicated than a simple checklist...
No one deserves to be abused. Get help wherever you can.
MYTH: It is easy for an abused woman to leave her abuser. Why can't she just start over?
FACT: Women who leave their abuser are at 75% greater risk of being killed or harmed by the abuser than those who stay. Nationally, 50% of homeless women and children are on the street because of violence in their home.
MYTH: Domestic issues do not hurt children. If he is bad to me, at least he isn't hitting the kids.
FACT: Child abuse occurs in up to 70% of the homes where domestic violence occurs. When a parent is victimized by domestic violence, children are abused at a rate 15 times the US national average.
MYTH: After a woman leaves an abusive partner, the abuse stops.
FACT: Separated women are three times more likely than divorced women, and 25 times more likely than married women living with their husbands, to be victimized by an abuser. These men frequently take advantage of court-ordered visitation to inflict harm on their former partners and their children.
MYTH: Batterers who seek custody do so out of love for their children and a desire to be good parents.
FACT: Custody litigation frequently becomes a vehicle whereby batterers attempt to extend or maintain their control and authority over the abused parent after separation.
MYTH: Allegations of child abuse increase significantly in divorce and custody disputes; women frequently fabricate allegations of abuse to hurt their former partner or to gain an advantage in custody disputes. She made it all up to make him look even worse.
FACT: Allegations of child sexual abuse are rare, occurring in only 2-3% of all divorce cases and fewer than 10% of custody cases. Less than 1/2 of all allegations of abuse against fathers are made by the child's mother, most are made by third parties. Allegations of child sexual abuse are not more likely to be false when made during custody/divorce proceedings than when made at other times.
Source:"Domestic Violence: The Facts" - A Handbook to STOP violence
Or see: www.healthyplace.com for more information.
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